Hi, I had a last hurrah last December 31st..I (like you) remained sober for a good 8months after. At the time I thought I was sailing. Others who stopped in September, October, etc. didnt seem to have the convictions I did. It was relatively easy for me that time since I was "so ready" come Jan 1. But I also was drinking daily up to that point. So when it came to that last night..my big hurrah, in reality it was kinda lame. I was so sick of drinking I was still milking the bottle way into the night. I did stop next day as I said and was gun ho for the next several months but I was missing something.
It was so "right" and easy for me to control that last night that I thought I could do it again. And this time really enjoy my last drink. You know how it goes, the more away from it the more you can dream up better ways to do it again. I was sober and enjoying it...but when a relationship issue came up and I wasn't as stable as I thought and drank, in retrospect feel that mindset set me up as well.
Bottom line is I am now on 6months but this time I have no desire to do that again. I wrote down in a pad all that I got from that last time I drank (the second time when I fell after 8months)..I got relatively nothing. The good news is the 8months of sobriety gave me a gift that was priceless..experience behind the drink. Joys, stability, memories, new friends. When I compared that to the night I drank it was blatantly obvious I made a stupid choice.
I guess you have to trust God. 2 wrongs don't make a right. Only a right makes a right (next best thing).
thats my thought.
