A last bender......... I was in the early part of the final stage when I saw death, at that point in time I knew I had to get and stay sober or die. There was no pleasure left in drinking any more at that point for me.
At the point in time when I quit I had to drink just to feel normal and not have bad things happen to me. The night before I went into detox, I drank every beer I had hidden in my garage to where when I got back I would not have to deal with them and to keep the bad things from happening to me.
In the end I drank because I had no choice but to drink, the pleasure had been gone for a long time by then, I was either crap faced or unable to even get a buzz, there was no inbetween.