Unfortunately, I'm realizing that we had our role as enabler. When we were in that role, the alcoholic 'needed' us. All of us want to be needed, but we also want to be wanted, and cared about and loved for who WE are. I think we end up confusing this 'need' for love, companionship and all sorts of other things. I guess all cases are different, but I believe that some A's don't want us to be around in the recovery stages, because we were part of the alcoholic phase. We are not 'needed' any longer during the recovery stage, and we can take this to mean anything we want, but ultimately if you feel he loved you along with his 'love' of the drink - they were a package. The sad thing is when he realizes that he didn't love the drink, he may realize that he didn't love the enabler either.
It is absolutely the best thing for you not to try or hope to be a part of this recovery. You're too dangerous for him, because you represent that time in his life, and he's too dangerous for you, because you could end up right back where you never wanted to be in the first place. I think no contact is the safest way to go.
When you feel sad and your heart feels broken, please remember that this is your chance to get healthy and feel good again. The sooner you put the idea of a reconciliation behind you, the better you're going to feel every single day. I'm not even there yet, but I know this in my heart. If it feels right - it IS right
