Hey Littlebird,
I don't go to bars and don't drink (much) either, so I had the same dilemma.
I had the same patterns. My counselor had me think about what I was looking for in a partner - not just what he was like, but what kinds of things he liked, common interests with me, whether he was smart or bookish or loved animals or liked to exercise or was a really good cook or WHATEVER you think would make a fun partner to be with.
And he asked me to think about where such a person might hang out. I took classes at the local cheap community college, got involved in a Meetup group (
Meetup: World's largest community of local Meetups, clubs and groups! - Meetup.com) that went hiking together, went to animal events, things like that.........places where that person I might like might hang out. It was a lot of fun, kept me busy, and eventually I met someone when I was ready to date again.
Good luck. You're on the right track!
GL