When my husband and I finally admitted our problem to our therapist and realized we HAD to quit, we chose a date a couple of weeks into the future because there was a concert that he wanted to go to at a local bar for his Birthday. (a Dwight Yokum concert). I decided to quit drinking the Monday after that concert (because I always start new things on Monday for some strange reason) and mu husband agreed to quit with me on the same date. My husband ended up getting really sick with Gout (which is aggravated by alcohol), so he quit drinking a couple of days before the concert because he wanted the pain to stop. I couldn't bear the thought of quitting earlier than the planned date, so I drank like crazy at that concert even though my husband was stone cold sober the entire night. I knew it would be our last night out drinking at a bar, and I wanted to make the most of it. I had several beers with dinner, and then kept ordering drinks at the bar waiting for the concert to begin. It felt like I wasn't even getting a buzz, and I really wanted to get plastered since it would be my last big drunk, so I switched from beers to Long Island Ice Teas, Blue Hawaiians and several other multi-shot drinks. I felt hung over the next day but commented to my husband that I was surprised and disappointed that I didn't really get a buzz after having so much to drink. I asked him if I seemed plastered and he said not at all. He had seen me going back to the bar all night ordering drink after drink, but he was shocked when he realized just how many drinks I had had, and how "not really drunk" I was after that much alcohol. It was really a huge let down as far as last benders go.
After joining this site, and hearing about books like "Beyond the Influence" and reading and becoming educated about how alcoholism works and how it's a progressive disease, I realize now that that last big bender was a very educational experience that has been burned into my permanent memory. I realize now that this experience made me realize later that I was approaching late stage alcoholism where the effects of alcohol are unpredictable. It really drives home the quote that "one's too many and a thousand is not enough". I realize now that if I ever started drinking again, that my tolerance level would immediately go right back to where I left off and I wouldn't be able to even get a buzz and enjoy it, so why bother. That memory has helped quite a bit over the past year and half.