I know what you mean nolonger and its very important for me to get out of this mess, its very hard for me not to go to Ibiza this comming summer as its a place where i'm popular and have a routine of work and happiness. The temptations of drugs is the big problem, i feel though i need to stay away from 2 drugs especially and they are coke and weed. I have to be strong while out there, I reckon i'd be ok as long as i kept away from the drugs i take and like most as long as the quitting starts now. I used to take alot of pills but really hate them now because of the come-down, i have done acid only a couple of times and if to do again only once, never really liked speed so if i'm out there i think if i try to stay away from Weed and coke i might have a chance of gettin better. It was whenn i was actually out there when i realised i was somene who didn't need drugs and someone who can just appreciate the natural side of life i.e company,nature,culture,music etc and it gave me alot less value for the drugs i was taking out there. Going to Ibiza for me did give me some lust for life and the value for routine, it increased my social life back in England and gave me something to look forward to considering i was always looking back all the time before i went out there, since i have been back i have attended voluntery work for understanding of mental depressionand hope one day hope to be restored mentally.
I still am really isolated though and find it hard building my confidence. I'm 22 and almost bold, that alone really hurts, everytime you think about meeting up with old friends it really worries me to think how different i must look and how people could start tagging Me with words such as boldey and slap-head at such a young age. Today is my first day without weed and with this site being here gives me more reason to quit after reading other peoples problems and stories. I know what happens in Ibiza isn't all good but Ibiza is not a lifestyle its a seaon meaning it will end no matter what, and if i stay off the drugs i can get addicted to im sure i would come back not taking the drugs i was taking out there as the experience is over, Ketamine was taken alot out there and i'v not done it once since back and have never even thought about it, where as its the drugs which fit into life back in England which are the ones i find more tempting and comforting, thats why i really wanna give them up more than anything before i get to Ibiza.
I feel it would be personality bulding if i go and and say no to the wrongs, Drugs are in your face just as much in Brighton when going out its impossible o avoid them, if i can do Ibiza i know i can do it in England.
What do you think? could this be a solution that dosen't mean sitting in a bed-sit wishing i was somewhere else all through the summer? or could it be me hiding and avoiding the problem?