Whether the mess is your fault or not doesn't matter IMO, what matters is getting out of the mess or dealing with it.
How about changing Doctors if you feel you can't tell him the truth?
As for your question, by going and getting stoned in order to 'cope' I never learned how to cope. That is what stunted my emotional growth. I used drugs to hide away from life, I carried that on when I started to drink heavily too. We grow emotionally by going through experiences and learning from them, I didnt learn anything, I just ignored problems and pain.