Today the sadness has grabbed me
My AH seems to be going downhill and I feel incredible sadness at the road that is likely in front of him. Unless he manages to get his act together, our house is going to go into foreclosure and he will end up on the streets. It is such a waste! He is becoming even less responsible and more erratic in his behavior.
I know there is nothing I can do about his choices and I don't have any urge to either. If anything my urge is to detach totally from the process of trying to fix up the house and working with the mortgage company, and let AH bear full responsibility for whatever happens. He doesn't grasp how close to losing everything he truly is.
I don't care that I may lose the equity in the house and end up with a black mark on my credit history. I not happy about it but its unimportant really. My life will continue to go in the direction I want it to go. I will continue my road to recovery and self understanding. I can recover from the blot on my credit record. I've learned that all that "stuff" is just not important to who I am, where I'm going and the quality of my life.