My Mother
Hello everyone,
I am new to this but I am looking for answers and guidance. I guess I should start off with my story. I am 30 years old and I have taken over the role of the parent with my mother. My parents are both big drinkers. I would not call my mother an alcoholic but I would say that my father is borderline. The reason I feel he drinks so much is because of my mother. Her addiction is cocaine. My mother has always been what I will call moody. Over that last couple of years she would call me to borrow money and give some excuse that she didn't want to ask my dad for money because he would be mad her that she did not pay the hydro bill or whatever. She would constantly call me to complain that my father was being mean to her and dragging me into her darkness. She thinks that my father is cheating on her. She was obsessed. She would make things. She is very convincing. I would than ask my father what happened and he would tell me the whole story including the fact that she punched him in the face. I know that my father is no angel but she wsa the problem not him. She has somehow managed to ruin relationships with all her friends and family and lost several jobs saying that they are out to get her. I thought for the longest time that she was schizophrenic. She would be happy for a short period and then be mean and evil. Last year she admitted to my brother that she had a problem with cocaine knowing that he would tell me. We all got together as a family to offer her help. It did not go well. She lashed out at me and said hurtful things. As time passed she became better. We went on a family trip to Vegas for my 30th birthday. The day we were going to leave she wakes me and my husband up at 3:30 in the morning saying that my father called security on her. She was crying hysterically and talking about killing herself because my father was going to leave her. i went to my father's room and got the full story She came back to the room and attacked my father. He had scratches all over his neck and arm. I haven't really talked to her since then. My dad called me two weeks ago to tell me that he has left my mother because he caught her doing coke in the car on her way to work. She had also pawned all her jewelry including her wedding ring. She has not tried to contact me. I have been getting updates from my dad on her progress. She was supposed to attend a CA meeting yesterday. I am worried that she is not strong enough to continue with drug treatment. I feel guilty that I have not been able to "help" her. I feel stupid for lending her money that she never paid back because it was going to drugs. I feel mad because every Christams, birthday, family dinner etc that she has ruined is because of the drugs. Something that she chose to do. She is not schitzophrenic she is a drug addict and has hid it from the family for years. I am unsure of what to do from here. Do I call her and offer support? Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.