Hello.
I've been addicted to vicodine for about 6 months now and I really want to find the strength to quit. I've read other stories of people quitting cold turkey, but I don't think I can do that, because I have a chronic cystitis that is very painful. That is what got me addicted in the first place. I have outbreaks about 4-5 times a year. When it happens, I feel that I want to die, because the pain is unbearable. About 6 months ago I had an outbreak when I was at work. It took over an hour of pain and embarrassment on the subway and when I finally got home, the pain got worse. I screamed so hard that I pulled my nerve. I ended up having both Urinary track and nerve pain. After seeing me like that my husband told me that I should see a doctor and ask for a medicine to help with the pain, which is what I did. The doctor gave me vicodine. I could not believe how relived I was and I how much more manageable the pain became. I used to get panic attacks in public if I felt a slightest indication of bladder discomfort, because many times it went from the slightest to an unbearable in a matter of a second. I was especially embarrassed in front of my friends or in any public places. I did not want people to see me screaming. When it happened I felt that everyone was looking at me and feeling sorry. I was brought up in a household where showing pain or anxiety in public was shameful.
The relieve I got from vicodine not only helped with the pain, but also with an anxiety that came with it. I started taking it only when it was necessary, but now I take about a pill and a half each day. I think I liked the feeling too much. I also feel more social and it helps me being creative and staying focused at work.
After reading some of the stories in this forum I realize it's not too late yet. I think I can quite with minimal discomfort and I tried, but I always end up taking at least a half/day. I carry the pills with me everyday, because I am afraid of my cystitis outbreak. I think if I could manage to leave them at home I could quit. I work about an hour and a half away from home. If I don't bring them with me I become anxious and nervous. If anyone has any advice on how I can start quitting, I will be very grateful.
Thank you and the best of luck to everyone!
Irina
