Thanks everyone for your Welcome! And yes English is my native language. I've been out here in France for about two years now. Lived in Paris for 5 years about 12 years ago. This is my first year of earnest attempt at sobriety which is not easy. It took me a long time to get to step one. I've proceeded to the steps but have been told I should do them one by one is that true? I'd lived in Hong Kong for several years "work hard party hard". Everyone else was doing it. But why could I not control it? Was I drinking too fast or too much? Or Both?Then a ding ding went on in my head that the alcohol was becoming a problem for me & my business. Back then when things went badly I would close down my co. and go to my favorite island in Thailand for a sejour to dry out. Figured it was the work, stress or the messy divorce which was causing the problem. Ha! I thought that was good enough. Then after spending a year on a motorbike in India alcohol was not a problem. Thought I had it all figured it out. Again. Then I moved to Sydney and became a business consultant. Things went ok for awile and then cunning and baffling reared its ugly head. After two years things got out of control and no they were not ok. MY partner of 6 years left to live in the Cayman islands. We never talked about my problem. Went to several AA meetings in several places which did nothing for me. I hated it. Guess I was expecting that magic pill and all could be good again. And no, I never once saw a BB then in any meetings. I heard someone mention if you don't see a BB in the room your in the wrong place. I was. Or perhaps I know now I wasn't ready. I cracked it again, I was living alone going to work and taking the bottles of wine home to "relax". Bad idea. It escalated to needing fortification before going to work. Another NO NO. After several incidents I checked myself into a detox center. Learned alot but not enough and no BB again. Anyway, I won't go on about my love story which is another novel in itself. But I decided after two years of long distance relationship I would come here. He knows I'm an alcoholic loves and supports me totally. Yes I tried the middle path and as we know to no avail. So, it meetings now for me. I work through the steps and get some great advice but I know I have to keep working on them. Someone gave me a CoDA book which was another revelation. I thought. **** there is more to this than I am looking at. So, now I'm trying the forum because as I said our group is awfully small 6 max. And I do not have a sponsor. So that's a bit about me maybe more than a bit. Thanks again. I will keep coming back!
Ermine