The closer I looked at my active addicts, the more I saw that worried me ... and the more I tried to control their lives.
Meetings - face to face and LOTS of them - helped me, and actually saved my life. The Alanon meetings I attend helped me to stop looking SO closely at the addicts that I love, and start looking at WHY I interact with them the way that I do. I am learning that when I focus on me, my upbringing, my habits, my tendencies, and how those came about - I find that I have been an INTEGRAL part to this dance of addiction.
My choice to stop dancing is one for which I am entirely in control. When I stop dancing, I stop "seeing their life" and when I stop seeing it ... I can finally stop trying to control it.
I wish you the best.