Floridaskibum
Somewhere in that post I know I read the words, "I am a codie" and the words "my life has become unmanageable", so you have already taken the first step if you truly understand that and believe it.
Blaming him and his family would be like him blaming Bud Weiser. You had your balance and you had a choice. You just made a bad one, something we all have done at one time or another. So pick yourself up, brush yourself off and turn your mistake into a lesson and move forward.
Going to meetings and working our program is about US, and about US learning to live better, healthier and helps us from making the same mistakes in the future. The program is great whether or not the addict is still in our lives.
So my suggestion would be to just take a deep breath, let go of what you cannot change, and begin your recovery. I promise you that it will be the best gift you ever give yourself.
Hugs
Ann