Thank goodness, after all these years, I'm no longer trying to figure out "which came first, the chicken or the egg." I'm no longer a spring chicken, but I do consider myself a good old egg!
How do you get to Carnegie Hall? Practice, practice, practice. The same is true with learning coping skills without having alcohol to fall back on. It takes time...but, given enough, you no longer think of yourself as "a drinker", rather as one who used to drink. Honestly...just be patient...the day will come when you'll no longer ponder these philosophical questions...and, you and everyone you care about will simply accept yourself as a recovering alcoholic. Case closed.