Thanks LaTeeDa! You really inspire me. I feel like you are one of the "moms" on here and always teaching us that we are important no matter what our A has told us, and that we have CHOICES! It's comforting to know you are here.
So, a positive story...the only one that comes to mind is how my attitude has changed from "I can't believe I wasted so much time on him," to looking at that time in a positive way.
My xabf is a musician and often, actually mostly, worked nights and weekends. I found myself home alone a lot. As time went on, when he was working, I took the opportunity to spend that time with friends. I have one friend that I went to law school with who is also single. So, on Saturday nights I would go to her house and hang out and just have fun girl time. When I wasn't with her, I was with another friend who I have only know for three years. The law school friend and I are very close because of all the time we have spent together. In this break-up, I don't know what I would have done without her. She's been very supportive, and not at all judgmental. The other friend is also like a sister to me. Actually, we became so close she asked me to be her maid of honor in her wedding. These two are my NY family because I don't have any of my actual family here.
The moral of the story is that when the break-up first happened, I was so angry that I gave up so much of my life for him. Then I thought if I hadn't been in that place and spent so much time with my friends, I wouldn't have the relationships I have with them. I can't imagine what that would have been like. Thank God I will never have to know. In a way, Thank God he sent me my xabf so I could find these wonderful ladies!