Hey girl. good to see you back...I have been wondering how you are doing...I am so sorry things are still so rough...good that you were right there and her finger got the care that was needed...
You know it wasn't so long ago that I struggling as you are my friend... was mad with codieness and had no clue..I was convinced it was my job to save my AD, and it was such torture!
After doing a lot of the codie work, I was still anxious and in pain...then one day I got it.... Obsessed , we truly are powerless, we truly are....Before I had this breakthrough, I was obsessed with needing to know what was going to happen to this kid, even though deep down I knew I had no control...I think it was that truth , and my refusal to accept it that kept me obsessed.
After coming to the relief that being powerless brings, I could SEE for the first time in 7 years, that 1. my daughter was not helpless but capable of choosing to stop or not..2. It is her battle, not mine 3.I could see, now that my face wasn't squished up against her reality that she will probably make it.Living in fear keeps us blind....We don't have any power over their addiction and surrender to that will bring us some peace and allow us to get out of the way, because I believe that stepping back is critical. I was always there to fix it. My daughter knows in my stepping back and leaving her to the business of choosing to grow up is on her. Fixing me is leaving her with the business of fixing her. I am so thrilled to finally SEE the sinplicity and power of that. The bonus is of course that I'm so much more relazed and can focus on my life.
Obsessed, are you doing alanon, have you read Co-dependent No More. If you can't get to a meeting, read the book at least. I seriously did not know I was a flaming codie til I hit this board but I truly am. It has been such a revelation to me and it has set me free. Your girl is gonna do what she 's gonna do,and she will stop when she is ready...The very thing that would strike terror in my heart, "they will not stop until they want to stop" Basic text, p62, now is comforting to me in a way, because I realize I cannot control my daughter's outcome and that allows me to let go and let her get on with it.
big mom :ghug3 's to ya sweetie...