OMG, g! I was telling Pajarito in her post earlier today that she should win the prize for Best Detachment In A Leading Role, but it's clearly a tie.
What you did was superhuman and totally brave, especially with your 3 kids and all 12 years of those (fantasy-drenched) memories to boot. Amazing.
The actual decision to divorce is huge, and your justification is all there. I'm sure your AH isn't taking it well, but hopefully you're getting some back-up from the fam. I gave my 13 y/o (step)son some information the other day about AlaTeen, and he soaked it right up. Hope your kids will too at some point. All the years of denial can make them a little crazy too, in their own ways.
Take care, and post often. There seems to be several of us on the board who are "in the process" right now, so you are far from alone.
