((((Hugs))))
I'm sorry you've had such an agonizing time these past few days, Obsession. I would have seen to that medical attention myself. I think we can safely say that is because we are mothers, not enablers, during a medical crisis such as Lauren's.
But the whole codependent part, "Why won't SHE learn?" is just spinning your wheels, Obsession. It's not going to help, and it's going to hurt if you stay there in your thoughts. Aren't you tired of how you are feeling right now? Can you allow yourself to see how much more fruitful if you took all that focus off of Lauren, turn it to a positive focus, and nurtured yourself a little tonight? It's a relief to let go of trying to "reach" these kids who refuse OUR plan for them, and instead take care of ourselves and make a plan for US. You have raised a grown daughter, and you have earned that right, no matter how she is acting. YOU have earned it.