Ser -
I searched and searched the internet for someone to tell me if my husband was an alcholic. I got so tired of the answer which is -- it doesn't matter if he is or not. If his drinking is causing problems for YOU, then it is a problem. Mine also would drink every day - 6, 8, 12 beers; whatever. I was absolutely making myself crazy keeping track of how much. Once we hit some magically quantity or frequency then someone would tell me he was an "alcoholic" and then I could confront him. I had basically checked out of the relationship, also. There was no relationship with the zombie that he had become. I did confront him finally, and he readily admitted he was drinking too much, that he would "cut down". Great, what a relief. Well, then he started hiding his drinking and lying about it. Then I KNEW FOR SURE there was a problem. I so much wanted someone to tell me what to do; to let me off the hook. But, I had to figure it out on my own. Alanon will help -- I waited far to long before I went. Everyone here is great -- you will hear things you may not want to hear, but it will all be honest and spoken from the heart.