Welcome JPat!
Glad to see yet another person reaching out! This is a truly remarkable site!
I wanted to add to the
"going to different stores to buy alcohol so the clerks don't start recognizing me"
A few years ago, a major drug store chain in the Dayton area began selling liquor. Not the watered down grocery store stuff. I used to frequent the one about 5 minutes from my house of a regular basis. Imagine, an alcoholic and an addict(pill head) being able to feed both addictions in one quick stop? I thought I was in heaven. At first I thought it was funny that the clerks became somewhat like bartenders, they knew what I wanted before I walked up to the register, they would just ask, 1 or 2 ? (as in how many bottles) Anyway, it took me a few months after I got into Recovery before I could go back to that particular location for obvious reasons, a trigger, guilt and shame. I had a few very strange encounters with the clerks there on different occassions after I got Clean & Sober. One clerk looked at me and said, rather loudly,"Hi, we haven't seen in you a while. Did you get a DUI?" And I was with my then 17 year old Son. I wanted to crawl out the door in embarressment for my Son. About 7 months after I quit, I ran into one clerk I hadn't seen in quite some time,he said"I was wondering what happened to you, what'd you do, quit drinking or something?" This time, after working on some of the guilt and shame, as I was getting my money out to pay for my kleenex and paper towels that were on sale, I reached into the coin compartment of my wallet and as I got out the coin part of the money owed, I laid out my tokens that I had so proudly earned!
What I'm getting at is that it is a wonderful feeling to be able to get rid of the guilt and shame, among other things that comes with this disease.
God Bless and thanks for letting me share!