Sugar,
I had no idea I had choice, all the time I was drinking I was without hope, and thought I was sure to die an alcoholic's death. I was actually stuck in my victimhood, which had been my "pillow" for years.
I did try AA, but felt very, very discouraged, when a woman with long term sobriety, I admired very much, told me it took her 10 years to get sober. I did not have 10 years, I knew I did not have 10 months, I was throwing up blood and as a nurse I knew I was killing myself.
I had tried and tried to get sober on my own, for years, with other programs, and what changed for me was finding a group of women who gave me hope, who empowered me to take charge of myself, who were prepared to talk to me and to listen to me, on the phone, in an internet chat room 24/7, which they did for a solid two weeks, until I was detoxed.
I applied myself to the program of my choice, and embraced it with all my heart and soul, and I believed what the women there were telling me, I hung on and did the work whilst they supported me.
I share this with all women who come to my group, and have seen many, many women get sober using the WFS Program. We have women there who have been sober for over 20 years, they stick around to "give back".
I cannot "fix" another alcoholic, only they can "fix" themselves, and they have to be willing to do whatever it takes to get and stay sober, but they must make the choice to make a commitment to their sobriety.
Ceasing to drink is probably the toughest thing I have ever done, but it is the most worthwhile thing I have ever done.
I am grateful to be an alcoholic, because without it, I would never have grown so much as a human being otherwise.
I hope this gives you some insight.
There are many, many roads to sobriety and recovery, just as there are many, many ways to God.
I rejoice when any human being finds recovery and serenity, even if it is not "my way".
I have many friends in sobriety who use all the other programs out there, including AA, and I am happy to share with and to listen to them, they are open minded and are of the opinion, "whatever works".
Seren
ps. A woman who cannot cease to drink should seek detox and treatment ASAP.