Hi, good question. I never knew codependancy existed till i came here, and since my spilt with my ab i have focused on me rather than him, which has become a complete eye opener. I have always been like this, and have a string of disasters behind me, and thanks to SR and also my xab my whole attitude to life is slowly changing and i feel like a great weight has lifted from my shoulders.
I have been involved with many additcts of some sort over the years, never knew why because i dont take drugs myself and drink socially, now i know why.
But I behaved the same with my x husband who was not an addict but a diabetic who may i add had no control of his illness, so guess what I took over, till i couldnt do it anymore and ended up resenting him and his illness.
In any workplace I am excellent, i will do tasks that are not expected of me, run errands, work late you name it. Till i cant do it anymore and end up resenting the job and my collegues.
All of the above is MY doing, nobody asked me to save them or do more than i should, today i am holding back on things that i shouldnt be doing, and saying NO.
I am not a religious person, but am beginning to understand that something good can come out of a disaster, and that there is a reason why we are tested.
while im here blabbing away i would like to take this opportunity to thank Denny, Former Dormat, Minnie and many more of you here for guiding me in the right direction, and also thank my xab Peter for giving my the opportunity to life a healthy life.
Mairxx