My exA found all sorts of excuses to go off on a bender. The last three before I said no more: Went to an anniversary party with my mother and sister for dear friends (left him alone for the day, took daughter to a soccer competition (left him alone for the afternoon) and the last one--went to the fabric store (left him alone for the hour). They don't NEED an excuse to go off binging, Soconfused. They drink because they are happy, sad, successful, despondent, it doesn't matter. THEY DRINK. It really has nothing to do with what you do or don't do, sweetie. The first step you can do is realize you are not causing the drinking, any time or for any reason. You are powerless over his choices, his alcoholism, his life. The only one you have any control over is YOU. It's really quite releasing to finally admit this, once you get over the finality of realizing he truly is an alcoholic and is never going to NOT be one again.