I should have added that my RAH has been very active in AA since he got sober 13 years ago.
I never saw him in his drinking days. I often wonder if his behaviours are more personality-related than A related, tho he does use the excuse of 'I'm an alcoholic and that's why I act this way'.
He hasn't achieved serenity yet, tho I have seen an improvement recently in his behaviour toward me. He's the type of person that gets angry easily, doesn't have great interperonal skills, tho can charm the birds off the trees when he wants to and is insecure and paranoid. Needless to say he has very low self-esteem but would never consider counselling, as he firmly believes all he needs is AA, tho he hes disillusioned with them for periods too.
Maybe he's just a difficult person - and I didnt see this when we were dating. I need to work hard on boundaries, too.