thanks for your replies. its nice to at least be understood. and ya know...its true. i NEVER notice people not drinking unless they're being all "oh. (fake laugh) i don't drink" (smug look) other than that...it really is all about me worrying about my own drinking.
ive been doing pretty good though. i haven't had a drink at all since Monday (i know i know. but baby steps! all about the baby steps!!) i have a party tomorrow that is a stupid beer bash thing. im going to try to play it cool. my brother said he just lies and says "oh i just opened this one. didn't you see? " or "uh ive BEEN drinking" and no one ever notices hes still sipping his first beer after five hours. i don't know if it'll work, or even that its a healthy strategy but at least im kind of excited about this "social experiment" hehe. :bounce