Oh, Kindeyes, I am you. I raised my son pretty much solely for the first 3 years also, at least it felt like it with an AH in the house. Always protecting him, always keeping him safe from pain, and he is also into drinking and drugs, with NO real grasp on what true survival in this world means. Your words are so poignant: a storm of disfunctional behaviors. I hate that I am a member of Mothers of A children. Is it possible for a mother to love her son so much that she destroys his very chances for a successful life? I am sometimes wracked with this thought. I know it is very codie, and that what is past is past, but still.....