How is he a recovering alcoholic if he is not in a recovery program?
I think the term is he is *dry*, not sober. That means he is still active in the diseased thinking, and thus, not emotionally sober. My experience with that is the same as actively drinking and thereby no emotional maturity.
Your desire to rescue it (enabling) is a result of codependency thinking. Doing so will serve to only enable his immaturity. I wanted to rescue my ex husband today from the pain of a nasty court case, when I saw how sad and pained he looked after. I chose not to.
If he doesnt have pain of his actions, he wont have motivation to change.