I did something very similar to this not long ago, the link to my post about it is below.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...g-healing.html
I know exactly where your coming from. Right now, what was said was said. You cannot turn back the clock so you've got to forgive yourself. Recovering from codependancy or anything else is not a nice straight up and up line, it bumps up and down all the time, but generally keeps its momentum upward. Don't let things bring you down. We all have slip ups and it ok, we're human after all.
So you have a choice now, you can either go back to your partner and admit you have a problem with codependency and that you had a slip because you were consumed by your fears and share what those are with him, or follow through on what you said, and have him move out. I chose the first option as I didn't feel that I truely wanted my abf to go, a big part of that was because I know I am not ready. I fear being alone, big time. I just knew I wasn't strong enough in myself to take that step.
Above all though, don't beat yourself up, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and keep on moving forward.
Lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx