I can't be much help here, only to say I understand. Of course an alcoholic needs someone to blame if they are not in recovery, that is their denial. And my abf is the most charming, sweet person...a lot of his friends think I'm crazy because they can't fathom this nice guy acting the way I say he does, why would I ever kick him out, etc. Well, in my case, his craziness has also become mine, if the truth be told because I am just as sick and addicted as he is.
He is saying that stuff about the boy so that he doesn't have to deal with and face the real truth...his own actions are the cause for this distance between him and the boy.