From How Al Anon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics pp 55 -56
In Steps Four and Five, we uncovered aspects of our lives and our personalities that needed change. Most of us are uncomfortable with these aspects of ourselves and want to get rid of them as quickly as possible. But Step Six says nothing about changing ourselves or making our own defects of character go away. In fact, this Step points out that we are powerless to remove our defects of character ourselves. Instead, we are reminded that we are in a partnership with a Power greater than ourselves. Our role in this partnership is to accept ourselves as we are, flaws and all, and to become willing to let go of all that stands in the way of our health and growth. No other action is required. The rest is up to a Power greater than ourselves.
In other words, in Step Six we learn to “Let go and let God.” This means that we must once again learn to trust the God of our understanding to do for us what we cannot do for ourselves. It isn’t always easy, because we know too much to remain comfortable with our defects. As we catch ourselves acting them out, we don’t like what we see. We want to be proud of ourselves and feel at peace with our behavior, yet we are increasingly embarrassed at what we find ourselves saying and doing. These actions, attitudes and habits do not reflect the person we are striving to become.
At this point, many of us try once more to change ourselves. For instance, if we have always been too busy focusing on everyone else’s problems while ignoring our own, we might try to force ourselves to mind our own business. We are often dismayed at how quickly our efforts fail. Although enormous energy goes into focusing on ourselves, many of us find that we continue to be preoccupied with other people’s lives.
Sometimes we have to try to make these changes on our own- and fail – before we can honestly say we are entirely ready for God’s help. After a lifetime of self-sufficiency, most of us need to be reminded that there are limits to what we can achieve without help. Paradoxically, by accepting our limitations, we can avail ourselves of unlimited possibilities. With God’s help, we can overcome seemingly impossible obstacles. Miracles can grace our lives, and serenity can take the place of despair. Our defects of character can be blessings in disguise, because in order to be free of them, we must deepen our faith, and that spiritual depth will bless our lives.
Our strength lies in accepting our role in our relationship with God, and trusting that a Higher Power will play a significant role as well. No longer must we struggle alone, attempting the impossible. We need only “Let go and let God.”