First and foremost....Congratulations on your decision and boundary. Some great advice there on your boundaries being for you, alone. I am imagining that...as an active A (and we know alcoholism only progresses)...he will not be able to meet that boundary....So I guess you are planning to leave/kick him out at some point. I am sure you will love the peace and quiet. Good for you taking care of yourself and kids.
"He even said to me that he does not want to sleep in the same bed as me b/c he can't stand it if my toe even touches him. Also, says he does not want to give me a hug b/c he does not feel anything when he hugs me."
No offense, but this doesn't sound like someone I would want to "work things out" with.
You can't work on your marriage alone. It takes two. Is he capable of working on the marriage as an active A? I'm just saying...the "idea" that he is "working with you on your relationship" might be a distraction to you right now.
"The "trying to be "honest" with his feelings" part, my AH, now that I've given him an "ultimatum" as he calls it, has finally started sharing his feelings with me (all of them negative!). He says he has been holding all these in for so many years, and drinking to keep them in. But now they are coming out, and he even says that I am "forcing" him to get them out. Wow! I new I had power but I didn't know I could force him to get his feelings out."
Did you have plan B and C ect. already in place, before you gave him the "ultimatum"? If not, focus on that first.
What he has spoken to you is the "quacking" of an alcoholic. I hope you see these words for the "smoke-screen" that they are. He is trying to make you and your "supposed" issues the focus and not his alcoholism. Pure BS. I would not give any validation to his words at this point. I wouldn't even think about each thing he said individually. Imagine him as a bottle of liquor or, a hospital patient with a hospital gown on...who has also been drugged. You wouldn't listen to a bottle or a sick person, drugged, at the hospital. No different, IMHO.