how are you
Hi, my name is Sebastian.
First of all, I am sorry I burge like this into someones elses thread. I am new here as well, and tried placing my own thread but couldnīt get it aproved.
I am 29, about to turn 30 and I am an alcoholic and a addict to cocaine. I have been drinking on a regular basis since I am 13, and doing coke since i am 17. At this time I have two days being sober. My body is al shaky, I tell people i am hiperactive. Thank God I actually am somewhat, but know this spasms are not normal. I have a harder time breathing sometimes, and I am just concerned in general with my health, I know i look young and very healthy, but i know it might no be exactly what I am thinking. MEntally, I am very paranoid and suffer from depressions constantly, I am just not good at taking blows, like my brothers death or ending a 6 year relationship. I can manage those things right.
My consumption however limits itself to the weekends and party nights although, in recent months, once in a while, i would just do blow watching movies for a whole night. I have come to enjoy that. Going next morning to work with my eyes red, tiredm and sleepless to finish the left overs of my coke while I work. I just had a 3 day on going party by myself that ended saturday, i have many memory lapsus there that I just have no idea what happened. fortunately no one is hurt, my car is complete(stupid me, i was driving!!!). I just have been telling my self that I would stop 3 months ago, and I cannot stop. I am kidding myself and killing myself. I have many business projects coming up, and my daughter and all my future that I see with good eyes, I dont want to screw it up, I am scared I might just not be able to make it through.