thanks to everyone
Thank you to everyone who has posted messages of support and advice. I am seeking out a therapist to talk about my guilt issues with my parents. I feel like I need to.
I'm not talking to my parents right now; I took Jane to her residential hotel today, but it was horrible; the room had not been cleaned and there was dried throw up / blood in the sink and mirrors with cocaine remnants on this table. The door didn't lock and there wasn't a smoke alarm or a fire escape out the window, and this room was on the third floor. There were these creepy drugged out people hanging around in the hallway and asking which room she was moving into. The tenant who was living there before was basically taken to the hospital for a drug overdose and the room wasn't cleaned. I could not leave Jane there. It was unsanitary and gave me a horrible, horrible feeling. I know this is Jane's fault, and she is responsible for this mess, but I could not leave her there.
So now it is back to square one. My parents won't talk to me, think I am a horrible person and Jane is sleeping on my couch. She is going to investigate another residential hotel tomorrow. But I'm drained, tired, and f****** sick of this ****.