Welcome Redshift
I can relate to your post, and I thought I'd share a poem with you. This is a poem that we read in AA, and I think I've recalled it from memory.
Congrats on your sobriety. Keep up the good work!
There are two days in every week about which we should not worry. Two days which should be free from fear and apprehension.
One of these days is yesterday; with it's mistakes and cares, it's faults and blunders, it's aches and pains. Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control. All the money in the world cannot bring back yestereday. We cannot undo a single act we performed, we cannot erase a single word we said. Yesterday is gone.
The other day we should not worry about is tommorow; with it's possible adversities, it's burdens, it's large promise and poor performance. Tormmorow is also beyond our immediate control. Tormmorow's sun will rise either in splendor, or behind a mask of coulds..but it will rise. Untill it does we have no stake in tommorow as it is yet unborn.
This leaves only one day; today. Anyone can fight the battles of just one day. It's only when you and I add the burdens of these two aweful eternities : yesterday and tommorow that we break down. It is not the experience of today that drives people mad; It's the remorse and bitterness for something that happend yesterday or the dread of what tommorow may bring.
Let us therefore live but one day at a time.
author unknown