Nothing wrong with you that you don't already know about Trish. You're an addict - we think of using, especially in the early days, and especially if all we do is just stop.
You've stopped using, but that's not enough. When you get the car in march - don't even give any time to thinking about scoring - drive - get to meetings, daily.
Start working on the other bit of recovery. You gotta stay stopped.
D