Day 1.5 Sober here writing on Buisness trip in Wellington NZ,
I was really happy last night believe it or not because I really wanted to stop and was happy that I was still sober but the pink cloud may have passed and now I am feeling tempted by the devil. If I work through the cravings they pass and I feel good that I did not give in, but there are signs all around me trying to pull me down, there whispering into my ear that just one drink after work with the mates is ok, just one puff is ok, just one.... I hear myself begin to rationalize, yeah thats right, just one drink, only one puff its ok, hey who needs sobriety anyways. Thats how it begins, thats how it takes me down. But Im stronger then that, those are not even my voices, those are my fears trying to hide me from myself, I've been down that road brother, I've been hiding and running from me all my life, you know being Sober is like a new drug, hate to say it like that but, i've been so used to being on the drink or the smoke that not being drunk or wasted is something totally new, just like when we started drinking that was a new experience, well now 20+ years later its an old experience. And being sober, truly sober, Is something totally new. I tell the devils whispers to STOP, because I am not going to have just one DRINK or Just ONE PUFF, Ill go for a walk instead, hydrate with water, lots of it. And move a step forward. One more step forward. If not now then when.
This is the only time we've got.
Thanks for listening, this group and forum has really saved my life.
:praying