(((((SerenitySeaker)))))
Great insight...I found the more I learned to practice focusing on me...even if at first it was just to block certain obsessive thoughts from my mind or to treat myself to a bubble bath or paint my toe nails, the more I could gain some perspective on my own life. I'm so glad you are shifting the focus and realizing that nothing changes if nothing changes, and the only thing you have the power to change is you.
I'm sorry your marriage is not what you would like, but I am glad that you are realizing you have the power to make a difference. Hugs.