I don't know what you are going through. My A's were my parents. But what about some type of seperation? You don't have to get divorced, but maybe you need a serene environment to work on yourself, one that doesn't have an active alcoholic in it...your own private space. Only you know if this is right for you. Maybe you could make a list of what your choices are...pros and cons...you do have choices...you are not trapped with no choices...that is the first thing we learn in alanon. I would also suggest alanon and/or some type of counseling to help you with those choices.