I am someone who wants to FIX...or at least demand to be heard, validated, and what's worst, feel understood. All things I know this man is incapable of giving me at this point.
I agree, he's scared and pissed that I'm questioning his drinking. What is it about Al Anon and thinking "if he loved me he'd quit"? Is that like setting myself up because it's the beer and his alcoholism, not him? We have somewhat of a unique situation in that first came the baby THEN came the marriage, so we never really got to know each other before all this family stuff...but we committed to having TWO more. I do question the love.
What's scary is my need for emotional connection and what if he can't give it to me? What if he's truly unwilling to give it to me? I don't want to get divorced...