I shared my concerns with my AH and he threw it right back at me. I told him I made an appointment with the counselor and he accused me of "scapegoating" him...that I add to the problems in our marriage. This I do not deny, but I do believe - from a gut level and an honest, realistic level - his drinking needs to be addressed before we can dig deeper. I did see he wrote the appointment in his planner. That's a good step!
I am totally co-dependent and I get that. My attitude and emotions are totally affected when he treats me this way. When he was leaving just now he was saying goodbye to our youngest that I am staying home with while he takes our big kids to a wrestling meet. As I tried to hug him - which I would do regardless of our situation - he mumbled, "Don't. You disgust me." [BTW, he has not been drinking today]
WHAT IS THIS ALL ABOUT?!
I am making these efforts at working toward a better marriage and he says, after I have been open and honest, that I DISGUST him?
Thank you so much for your book suggestions. I will check them out. In the meantime, please continue to share your wisdom with me. I feel like I'm going crazy!