Hi all! I wanted to update everyone on my life WITHOUT my addict! I came to SR in Sept 04 feeling lost, confused, scared, sad, etc. The same as most of the newcomers here are feeling. I honestly felt I was in a bottomless pit with no way out. I loved my husband, we had two young boys (of which are now almost 7 and one is 8). I didn't believe in divorce and I didn't want my children to grow up without a father in their lives.
But....I had to do what was necessary to protect myself and my children from the life of an addict. I finally saved enough $$ (working my FT job and 2 PT jobs) and was able to divorce my now exah in May 06. Don't get me wrong, times have been troubling, financially devastating without any child support, and very stressful of working so much and trying to raise two boys on my own. Their father is entitled to visitation but no overnights and he doesn't pursue much of anything with them. My exah has lost
almosteverything. However, he's got enabling parents who will bail him out until the day he dies or they die.
I've forgiven him but I still never stop fighting the child support system to get whats necessary for my boys. I figure he's got $$ for crack, he can pay the consequences of not paying child support. He's been ordered to jail for non-payment. Maybe this will be his wakeup call. Maybe not. That's on his plate and he can deal with it. "THIS TIME" I finally just let it go. I've made it this long and far without him, we'll survive.
I've got an AWESOME support system and never once have I felt like a single parent. (Ok, maybe sometimes at home in the crazy mornings or evenings but for the most part...not). I cannot tell you how grateful I am to the wonderful family and friends, co-workers, and my employer for being so caring during such a difficult time. I couldn't ask for anything better. God has blessed me in so many ways.
Fastforward to 2008...............never in a million years did I think I could be so happy and content with the life my boys and I now have. I never wanted to date anyone for fear of falling into the same "hell-hole" of addiction nor did I want someone trying to be a father to my children. I was stubborn and wanted to do it all.
I have a friend who recently divorced his alcoholic wife. He's always been around and has been like a father to my boys even before my ex and I divorced. He thinks I'm awesome, he thinks I'm a great mother and he doesn't want to see me struggle any longer. He wants to start dating and I've told him, "yes, we'll see what happens"!! He's great to me, he's wonderful to my boys and I can honestly say I've NEVER had anyone care so much about me as he does. He truly enjoys my boys and it feels right
I just want to give hope to everyone out there struggling with living with an addict. I know God has a plan for me and my family and I'm ready to live life again!!
Just wanted to share!!!
Jen