Hi i'm new here
And new to recovery...I have been drinking since i was 21..not heavily then or now but steady...usually ranging from a 6 pack or less in the evenings to more on the weekends..I have a bad habit of drinking when i get upset..I have only had one or two black outs and i know i am on the verge of being an alcoholic
I went to jail on my birthday last wed and decided it was time to stop the insanity..I went to jail three times last year on account of drinking..mostly public drunk in my ex's driveway..He's an alcoholic too and in AA and had a bad habit of provoking me..hitting me and lying to me when on a bad drinking binge....
We were going to try to make it through AA together but it just isn't happening...He's a month sober but tries to make like he is almost 100 percent better and that just isn't the case..He started badgering me on my slow progress with AA and the big book and even lied to me last night about going to AA..I am without a car since my DUI and live in a small town..I have only been to 3 meetings and haven't really gotten to know many people and the ones i have met are pretty busy ATM so i don't have many choices of ways to get there
He had told me he was taking his mother out for her birthday and turns out he went to AA instead leaving me here very upset..wanting to drink and without a ride to AA :/ I called a girl from there and discovered he isn't fooling anyone...I had thought i was really being paranoid like he had been telling me...There is a younger girl there that he "said" called him for guidance..For the two years i had dated him he talked to other girls and lying about it..He told me i was just being paranoid about her calling (i think he had called her) and that he would NEVER try to pick someone up in AA cause that wasn't what it was about
I know i am rambling but last night upset me a ton...To make a long story i talked to a girl from AA who i have kind of starting being friends with and she talked me through it...I discovered he was with me to feel better about himself and that he is also considered a predator there..Not meaning anything bad..just that he is sick and needs girls that are going through the same thing to make him feel better..The girl has been warned about him and i am happy i am not just being paranoid
I cut off all ties with him..i don't need him hindering my progress..Now i can't say i am not hurting because of this..I love him and it was very upseting...i have to go to the same meetings he does because of my lack of ride and the size of my town..I had been iffy anyway about going to meetings and this is going to be worse
as i said sorry for the rambling...my mind is racing
Manda