Us furthering their guilt in general doesn't help
I'm going to disagree on this. Go to small claims court and get the judgement, it is good for 10 years.
He's counting on you not doing that, the bit in the hotel at the check in was 'silent manipulation.' getting a judgement isnot that big a deal and HOLDS HIM ACCOUNTABLE FOR HIS ACTIONS. Someday.
Not getting a judgement, which by the way will include the cost of getting the judgement and a small amount of interest, in my mind is still enabling.
And, I am clean and sober since 6/81 and in alanon since 6/84.
I am firmly convinced that had my family stopped enabling me sooner I probably would have gotten sober and clean sooner.
J M H O
Love and hugs,