Selah - there is so much insight in the posts above. I don't have much to add except to tell you that I feel you, I really do. I am just starting to live without the fear...the fear that my husband will be dead in the gutter, the fear that I will be that single old lady with 100 cats, the fear that I won't be able to make it on my own. As I start shedding my fear and replacing it piece by piece with serenity, courage, and wisdom, I have to tell you that I am getting myself back and it feels GREAT. Acknowledgement and acceptance is half the battle, in my opinion.