You Know What Bothers Me Most?
It's not that she drinks...because I have no control over it. I can't stop her. I can't lmit her. She is going to drink no matter what I say or do.
But what really irritates me the most is the fact that she just does things to drive me crazy. Knowing that I worry like I do about her, she seems to gloat in that...she seems to want to watch me wriggle around and worry about her.
Just like right this minute. I know she's probably out drinking already with her friends...and she's not doing anything else but sitting there drinking...and probably bad mouthing me..the butthole husband who says she is out of control..and they are all going on about bashing me....
But the fact that I worry...is she in a ditch..is she wrapped around a tree...is she in jail for DUI...is she ok....and she knows I call...she pretends not to hear her cell phone..or can't hear it for the party going on...and she refuses to answer...probably looking right at it...thinking "go to hell"....
And then, when she calls, if I don't immediately answer her...I must be out cheating or doing something that I don't want her to know about since I didn't answer.
Their overall lack of concern, their incapability to genuinely care about anyone other than themselves, their lack of common courtesy...those things bother me far more than dealing with a drunk wife every night.
Why do I worry so much? Why can't I just drop it all and walk away? Why do I even care? What am I so scared of that I can't just walk out tonight? Why do I let this crap worry me....it irritates the living hell out of me.