carolineb

It took me a looooong time to see the manipulation.

It took me a looooong time to know that an alcoholic isn't necessarily a 'drink everyday, falling down' drunk. He is functioning, takes care of his kids, owns a home, exercises, owns a business, makes good money. Fulfills obligations, etc.

We started out as friends. We fell in love. He would stop me on the street to tell me how beautiful I was. He treated me like a queen. He did things for me constantly. He was there for me whenever I needed him. He was my man.

I thought I had died and gone to heaven.

He told me I wasn't enough. He told me he needed someone who was 'ga ga' over him. He told me when you love someone you talk, text, touch base everyday and I wasn't doing enough. He asked me if we had a future and when I said, 'possibly', it wasn't a good enough answer. He told me he was willing to give me his heart.

I went crazy trying to figure out why he was so insecure. I broke up with him twice because I thought I wanted my freedom back. He was suffocating me.

Then I missed him. Then I thought I wanted to be with him. I asked to try again. I wanted to be more 'present' for him and give him my love. That's what he enjoyed. Now he was in charge. I didn't get it.

Then I realized he was an alcoholic and it all made sense.

Then I ran. And....I thanked God for not allowing me to sell my soul to this man and his addiction. Now I am hurting like I've never hurt before.

BUT.....I have my life back. . It all makes so much sense now. It hasn't been long, but I will get there. Am I so desperate to be loved that I'll put up with this sh*t? I love myself more than that. He's tried contacting me once...I ignored him completely. My silence speaks volumes. I am free.

RUN.....................and don't look back. He will play on your frienship....I guarantee it. Then he will suck the life out of you like a vampire.