Originally Posted by best

May as well call me her-son.
Reading your post reminded me of my own mother in so many ways.
What I found in life... don't tell them off but in a soft, quiet, controled voice...as you did... explain to them once and then if needed explain it a second time at another time(just so you know they hear it) but after that...actions without words.
I never had to tell my mother why I wasn't coming around or why she didn't see her granddaughter after she was born...she knew and no words were needed.
Just so happens that she sobered up before my daughter had reached 1 year old and was able to see her at that time.

My boundary was to keep my space at peace and if not visiting or talking with her because of her drinking would keep my space at peace...I did it, even if it means she doesn't see her granddaughter.

Just so happens that around the same time...I started seeking a sober life as well.
My holding my boundaries or those around me holding their boundaries... I know first hand they didn't make me seek a sober way of life or my mother seek either but I do know that the boundaries of others had me start to think of my own issues and problems and that is what had me seek a sober way of life. I would think the same for my mother as well.

As for honoring our parents... We can do that in many ways. No disrespect towards them and what I think is more of an honor but we gain from as well...
Be the best we can be.