Welcome HD,
I'm so glad you have found this site. I hope you stick around and read as much as you can. It will help you gain inner strength. I admire your resolve to keep calm with your mum. I don't believe anger is a productive emotion, but I hope you attend Al anon or speak to your church commumity about your feelings as it is only natural to feel hurt and rejected right now. My mother has not seen/spoken to her mum for over three years due to her abusive nature, but each day she still feels the pain that emptiness has caused her, a counsellor could help you no end with this.
Lots of love to you right now,
Lily xxxxxxxx