ChristinaMarie

Hi,

I'm new to this site... I'm new to this whole thing. I recently met an amazing man, we had a meeting like that out of a movie, and immediately hit it off with one another. From our first date, which took place over coffee, he told me he no longer drinks, and it was implied at the time it was because his father is a serious alcoholic. Over a short period of time I soon realized that he was also a serious alcoholic and was just beginning his road to recovery.

I am also a child of an alcoholic. But, unlike him, I do not have a serious drinking problem. I am a social drinker, and as I get older (and hopefully wiser), the less I care to drink. So, after a few weeks of an intense courtship, I went on a overnight trip a few hours away with some of my best girlfriends. He and I chatted before I went to bed, and he revealed that he may not be able to date someone who drinks, even socially. Upon this declaration I asked then he tell me either way sooner than later, because I did not want to become more emotionally involved with him to have him then cut me out because I like to have a glass of wine at a dinner party or out with my girlfriends. When I came back from my weekend, he had changed a great deal, and he was having an episode of urges to drink. He didn't, and once he was through it we had a long talk.

He told me that he really needs to focus on his recovery and that as much as he thinks I may be the woman for him, right now he has a long journey to endure and cannot give me the relationship that I need or deserve. This was a really hard thing to hear, because at this point I had fought me own urge to run in the other direction once I saw the pull alcohol had on him, and it had scared me greatly. We have decided not to end our new found relationship altogether, but to remain as friends while he searches within himself, and see what happens in the future.

In complete honesty, I am devastated. I don't fall easily for men, my standards are quite high, I won't settle for less than what I deserve. Yet I have fallen completely hard for a man I met for only a short period of time, and now I can't have him. I know that by supporting him will only make us stronger in the long run, but it is torturous to be without him after our fast and amazing short relationship. He now treats me as a 'friend', greetings of hugs versus a sweet kiss, no more darling voice mail messages, ect. I know this is the best, but I am utterly confused and sad.

I need some guidance in this. Is there anyone who can offer me some solace?