aret

Back to work I went yesterday, scared and sore. It was the longest day ever as my body longed for a break, to sit down and rest these achy bones. Home I came, to my girlfriend waiting for me. A friend was here, drinking a beer, I was fine with that, I'm not a beer drinker, and I was glad to have the distraction. Last night, I was fine, however, she was with me, it is so much harder when I come home to an empty house when she is working and have to do it all on my own. The quiet, my thoughts, alone, however will I make it through, I wonder. One week ago today, is when I had my accident, and have not drank since. Tonight, I think is the hardest it has been so far. Right now all I want is a glass of wine, just one glass of wine, I have to keep forcing myself to look at my healing eye to convince me that one glass of wine will only turn into one more and hurt me. Still trying, that bottle under the counter, perhaps I should have gotten rid of. I didn't even realize it was there until recently and I thought I would just forget about it. But my mind wanders, keeps going, I am playing war with myself and I'm not quite sure who's winning.